Fiance visa Relationship scams & marriage fraud

Am I getting romance-scammed by my fiance?

Or is it real love?

Most times, scams are easy to detect. Like when we get the email from the “Nigerian Prince”, and we close our eyes and shake our heads: “Not this guy again…”

Other times they’re not as easy to see through. For instance, when we start talking about fiance visa romance scams, things can get really complex.

A recent article from the Washington Examiner tells a story of a US Army man who was deployed overseas at a base near Kiev, Ukraine. He met and fell in love with a local woman while he was on holiday in 2012.

They started courting — he flew many times to see her, talked to her often, and had a good feeling. Things seemed perfect and he jumped to take the big step… but unfortunately his fiance kept dark secrets (read details in the article).

He submits the fiance visa petition (I-129F), and fast forward several months… the interview was approved, and his fiance comes to the US to marry him.

All well and good until…a few days after they have the Green Card Interview, she fights and leaves him for good. It quickly becomes clear she was using him all along to get to another partner.

The US man discovers all the lies and quickly files for divorce. Strangely enough, the USCIS grants her permanent residency even though they were in the midst of divorce.

What ensued after were years of agonizing court cases, wasted money, and stress. The woman demanded the US citizen pay her as per the I-864 Affidavit of Support. The US man’s counter arguments were rejected by the courts and he was ordered to pay.

In fact, he mortgaged his house to pay for the legal fees.

What started out as innocent love turned dark. You can call it bad luck, you can call it bad judgement of character, OR you can just say the scammer was very experienced.

Either way, he suffered. He trusted her, but ended up losing his home, his sanity and YEARS from his life.

And this is one big fears we all have during our fiance visa process–is it real love? How can I be sure that I’m not being taken advantage of? Will I end up like this guy from the story?

Fortunately, these things are infrequent and there are ways to protect yourself. Let’s first talk about the different types of scams out there — and how you spot them before they ruin you.

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The two types of scams

The first type of scam is the one you just read about –marriage, romance, fraud– whatever you want to call it. The point is that someone gets into a romantic relationship with you and uses you as a way to emigrate to the US (K-1 visa).

Their motive is usually:

● To get a visa to the US, then leave you

● To escape their current life and have a better one in the US, then leave you

● To get to the US, leave you, then marry their real / secret partner

Notice how complex, long lasting, and devastating this can turn out. Like the woman in the story who patiently waited YEARS to make a move. And most victims won’t even know about it until they get to the last stage.

But the second type of scam–financial– is quick. It’s when someone meets you online, gets into a quick relationship, only to ask for money and disappear shortly after.

You can find a bunch of stories online from government websites (ScamWatch)…But how about I actually show you an example of someone who started to talk to a financial scammer.

This gentleman tells me how he got someone’s contact from an online dating website. They exchanged emails but never actually talked for more than 10 minutes.

Quickly thereafter, she “fell in love”, said she wanted to come meet him but “couldn’t afford” the trip. Then she aggressively asked him to send money. After he declined several times, she stopped responding and simply vanished.

What do you suppose would’ve happened if he actually sent the money?

Poof. She would’ve disappeared… along with his money. These are tell-tale signs of fraud.

We don’t want this to happen to us. Or to anyone.

So first, keep in mind that there are two types of scams: romance (which leads to marriage fraud), and online financial scams (which leads to financial loss). Then keep in mind that there are ways to spot both.

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Should I even worry? Do these K-1 visa scams happen often?

The likelihood you’ll be caught in marriage fraud is impossible to figure out. We don’t know how many scam fiance visa cases go undetected. Statistics aren’t available.

Besides, we can’t predict someone’s motive.

Think about it: if there’s a divorce after someone marries on a K-1 visa…how do we know if that’s what the scammer wanted all along… or if the divorce happened because of a genuine reason…?

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) estimates there are 15,000 yearly cases of online scams. And there are probably a lot more that go unreported.

So, don’t let your guard down and assume it won’t happen to you. The fact of the matter is that it can happen to anyone, but I do admit that some of us are more prone than others.

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Who even falls for these scams?

Let’s not brush it off and say “it won’t happen to me, I’m internet-savvy”.

Or “I’m not gullible, I can quickly judge someone’s character”.

Scammers and defrauders have been doing this for a long time, and they are good at what they do. So, let’s be a bit humble.

If you’re in the following categories, you’re more vulnerable:

● Those trying online dating for the first time (at any age)

● Older folks discovering the interview OR looking for companions online

● Divorcees looking to start over (at any age)

● Those visiting countries known to have high percent of K-1 visa fraud

Notice how most scams originate online through social media or dating websites. But that’s not always the case. There are several other ways they can find you. Let’s talk about that now…

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How scammers find you

Most of the time, scammers / defrauders find you:

❏ Online

■ Social media – for example: when someone “friends” you without a logical connection or mutual friend on FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.

■ Dating websites, apps, or service, or on a forum / online community.

❏ In person

■ Tourist Spots – where they know a US tourist may visit

■ “Bumping” into you – Starting up a conversation and oddly interested in you.

(Although there’s a huge cultural context involved –many countries are romance driven and this is seen as “normal”. However, be sure that this scammer didn’t bump into you for the wrong reason).

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Signs that you’re being scammed

Alright, let’s get to the big lesson… how can you spot a scam before it does damage?

Well, it’s easier to spot online financial scams than it is to spot fraud fiance visa partners. Here’s what most of them have in common:

Signs of an online romance scam

■ He/she has a generic profile on a dating website. Then quickly switches off the dating site onto email or text messaging (that’s because they get charged money for using the site, so they cancel their subscription after they lure a bunch of people).

■ They have a flowery way of talking about love, life, age, and desire. Their responses sound rehearsed, almost like they’re reading from a script (which they probably are).

■ Things like age difference or other red flags don’t seem to bother them. They agree with almost every philosophy you have.

■ They’re not receptive to having deep conversations.

■ They have an odd story to tell before asking for money (example: “I just lost my passport and travel documents… I need money to travel back home”).

Or like the real-life example from the email: “I need money to apply for a tourist visa and travel to come see you”.

■ He/she absolutely refuses to introduce you to family and makes several excuses.

■ No social media exposure. Meaning they don’t want anyone to know you’re in a relationship with them. But if they do add you on social media, then it’s probably a fake account.

You can see even more guides on spotting common scams: (FTC online dating scams).

Now, to me, internet dating scams are easy to spot. But that’s not the case with fiance visa defrauders. They can go at great lengths to convince you of the relationship. And it can take years before the truth finally comes out.

Signs of a fraud relationship in a fiance visa case

…Before K-1 or I-129F visa application

□ Finds you online or by “bumping” into you

□ Pushes the relationship too fast

□ Doesn’t “care about” red flags. For example, if you have a big age gap, but he/she seems not to care and just wants to be together quickly.

□ [Most importantly] Hides important facts. For example, has this fiance…

▪ Shown you his/her actual passport? birth certificate?
▪ Previous travels? Previous visa petitions?
▪ Introduced you to his/her family?
▪ Or like the first story with the US Army man… hide a previous marriage?

□ Pressures you into applying for a visa saying that he/she “can’t wait to be together”. And he/she is oddly knowledgeable about the visa process.

□ Doesn’t have genuine interest in you or your life.

…During visa processing

□ Gets impatient and asks about alternative means of getting to the US

□ Little or No social media exposure. They don’t want anyone to know you’re in a relationship with them. But if they do have social media exposure, then it’s probably through a fake account. For example, if you count their “friends” list, it’s only a few other fake accounts.

□ Refuses to introduce you to family or makes several excuses.

…At the K-1 fiance visa interview

□ New details / secrets emerge such as a past marriage, undisclosed children, or undisclosed pregnancy, criminal history, previous travels, visa attempts, etc.

…After marriage

□ This is when the truth comes out. He/she quickly loses interest in you, is quick to pick a fight, and make outrageous demands. You might even catch him/her cheating. Or this partner simply walks out of the relationship (divorce after K-1 visa). This is exactly how the US Army man in the story found out about his ex’s history.

I don’t know about you, but to me, these things are hard to spot. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to judge if someone was really in love or just playing the part for a long time.

And the thing that gets me most…? is that so many REAL, genuine stories start out like this–and end perfectly well.

I mean, several people I know started out with the same experience –meeting online, quick relationship, previous visa attempts, etc.– but ended up totally genuine and real. But if they saw this list, they would’ve thought their partner was fraud.

It’s almost impossible to know how things will turn out–especially in the beginning. So, keep in mind that this is just a list of signs of a possible scam. It’s not set in stone.

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Should I “test” my fiance to see if it’s a scam?

Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about staying safe: “I’ll just test him/her before I get too involved”.

You may have read on other forums, blogs, videos… some say that you should try psychological tricks to gauge their reactions. Like–lie about coming to meet them and his/her family and see how they react…

Or my favorite: someone suggested you should lie “I’m selling my home, I’ll be on the next flight to your country. Forget about the visa to America, let’s live together where you are…” and then see how your fiance reacts.

But I’m totally against these kinds of tactics. It’s in bad taste. It sours your experience. You will not be able to forgive yourself if your fiance turned out to be genuine.

If you really want to develop a real, genuine relationship — then just go slow. Don’t be quick to jump to the visa process and don’t be quick to get married. (“How do I prove a bona fide K-1 visa relationship?“)

That way, you won’t even need to “test” your fiance. If your partner is truly genuine, he/she will hold on and stick by your side for as long as it needs.

But if your partner is a scammer, then they’ll quickly forget about you and move onto their next target.

Take my advice: go slow and things will sort themselves out.

Besides… if you’re being this paranoid before marriage with this partner, imagine how you’ll behave after marriage.

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What if my fiance turns out to be an immigration / marriage defrauder?

So, let’s get to the last topic. What if… after all that, you find out that it was a scam all along. That your partner was just using you to get a K-1 visa and then leaves you. What does that mean?

First, let’s talk about what it means to your life, then we’ll talk about legal consequences.

If you’re a victim of marriage fraud, then you have to worry about…

● Psychological and emotional trauma

● Years of costly legal battles, divorce, child custody disputes, etc. Losing your home or other assets. Possible stolen identity or access to sensitive data

● Liability to pay the I-864 affidavit of Support (remember, it doesn’t end with divorce). In fact, the man from the story mortgaged his house to pay the fees

● Possible accusations of domestic violence (example: if your fiance claims you attacked him/her).

● It being difficult to petition for another partner / fiance visa in the future (multiple filer or possible criminal history)

A foreigner who defrauds and found guilty is…

● Subject to deportation

● Barred from future entries or benefits from entering the US under “willful misrepresentation” (inadmissibility 212(a)(6)(c))

● Possible legal action if the USCIS, FDNS or other agency concludes that it was a sham marriage. The US Citizen may also be in trouble if you were aware / involved in getting your partner a Green card through fraud.

According to ICE, marriage fraud is a Federal crime and can result in prison time or hefty fines for foreigners or US citizens who are found guilty.

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How the government detects fraud fiance visa cases and sham marriages

The government is always looking out for fraud. The USDHS has several ways to deal / pick it out. You can read the full details here: How the USCIS investigates K-1 fiance fraud.

But I’ll also give you a snapshot of the highlights:

● USCIS trains their adjudicators to review your I-129F packet and check for signs of a possible sham relationship. “Where did you meet? How long was the relationship? Do you have all the evidence?”

● If the USCIS detects something wrong, they’ll send your case to the Fraud Detection and National Security (FDNS) department.

● If your I-129F is approved, then at your K-1 visa interview, a trained officer conducts an in-depth interview to spot any possible sign of a sham relationship: “when did you meet? How? Do your parents/family know about this?”

● If you’re approved, it’s possible (but rare) for Customs/Border Protection to question you on the relationship and deny entry at the border

● After marriage on a K-1 visa, the 2-year conditional Permanent Residency is meant to see if the couple stays together. They know sham relationships usually dissolve in 2 years. So they use time in to their benefit. After which, they can make a decision. If you’re still together after 2 years, the USCIS does another interview (Removal of conditions) before granting a 10-year permanent residency status.

● At any time, the USCIS may send officers to do an unannounced home visit and check if the married couple actually is bona fide.

Interestingly, almost 75% of the couples officers investigated showed signs of possible fraud (remember, this isn’t everyone, it’s just the married couples the USCIS suspected were frauds and went to investigate).

The US government does what it can to detect fraud. But I want to bring an important point to your attention–

They want to spot sham relationships, they can’t help if you’re a victim of a scam.

A sham relationship is where BOTH of you are defrauding the system (like if you’re both involved in getting a Green card through fraud).

A scam is where ONE partner is defrauding the other (like the example with the Army man and his ex).

So, the government can’t save you from a scammer. It’s YOUR responsibility to save yourself. And if you’d like to report possible marriage / visa / benefit fraud, reach the USCIS here: Combating-marriage-fraud.

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How to save yourself from fiance visa fraud scams

So, let me remind you how to stay safe. If you’ve been following along, you realize there are two key lessons:

● Financial scammers emotionally manipulate you into sending them money. The way to protect yourself is to leave money out of ANY relationship (especially in the beginning). Don’t ask for it, don’t give it. Also, check the list of possible signs of a scam to compare your relationship.

● Fiance visa defrauders want to use you to enter the US and get permanent residency. The way to protect yourself is to TAKE YOUR TIME. Go slow with everything (relationship, visa, marriage). Which serves two good functions: it helps you develop a deeper relationship AND it forces scammers to leave. It’s a win-win.

Remember: take your time… and keep your money out of the relationship (especially in the beginning). That way you can reduce the chances of being a victim of fiance visa fraud.

Now it’s your turn…

Have you ever experienced an online dating scam? What happened? Let’s discuss in the comments below…