Fiance K-1 visa Red Flag
Age difference
Age difference is more than just a number. Lot’s of things factor into the officer’s decision. The “solution” is decisive proof of relationship.
Have a major age difference with your fiance? How does this red flag affect your chance of K-1 visa approval?
Let me tell you about William, who being a widower, gradually got to the point when he was finally ready to find a new partner. He met a wonderful woman overseas and developed a good relationship.
He was comfortable with his fiance visa case — he had finances, visitations, photos, and all other requirements. So he wasn’t worried about the paperwork.
Actually, when he called me, his only question was: “what about our age difference? I’m nearly 30 years older than her.”
Reading horror stories forced him to constantly imagine similar worst-case scenarios for himself. He predicted the officer would suspect his relationship was fake.
And he’s not alone.
Age gaps are one of the most-common red flags out there. The solution to which is deceptively simple: present rock solid proof of relationship. Because even though there’s no law saying your ages must be close, you’ve got to persuade a skeptical officer that you’re genuine.
Fortunately, age difference is more than just a number. So, there’s a lot we can do to help. A variety of factors sway an officer’s decision one way or the other. But before we get to all of that, let’s figure out what exactly a “big” age gap is and why it’s a red flag.
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Why is this a Red flag, anyway?
A big age difference is a red flag because it’s out of the ordinary and forces the officer to wonder if there’s fraud involved; or whether you’re doing the K-1 visa just to get into the US.
They ask:
❑ Is it real love?
To them a big age gap typically signals fraud. Put yourself in their shoes. If you’re looking at a case for the first time, wouldn’t you also ask “what’s the likelihood this relationship is real and will end up in marriage? And not simply a marriage meant for a Green card.”
❑ Are you being scammed?
Interestingly, one of the officer’s duties is to “protect” you and/or the beneficiary from a “bad” or “fraud” match. For example, if the officer suspects the American is being scammed, s/he may ask for more bona fide evidence. On the flip side, if the officer feels the beneficiary is headed into the claws of an abusive US petitioner, s/he may “protect” the beneficiary by refusing the visa. (read “fiance K-1 visa romance scam“)
❑ How’d you become partners?
Finally, they’ll wonder why you chose a partner so different from you. Most couples prefer to have things in common like hobbies, race, religion, language, culture, school, and age is one of the big ones. So, what about you?
For most, a 1-5 years gap is normal. But when the difference becomes 15 years or more, it’ll raise eyebrows.
Alright, so we know that an age difference is a red flag for various reasons. But now, let’s try to put a number to it. How many years exactly is a “big” age difference?
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So… what’s a big age difference? 5 years? 20 years? 40 years?
Here’s what I consider a small (or non-existent) age gap. Rose, for example, is worried about her 5-year age difference.
5 years? Don’t worry, Rose. I doubt that’s a red flag in anyone’s book.
But don’t let that give you a false sense of security. You still have to convince the consulate that you’ve got a bona fide relationship. So, keep gathering your proof.
Next, we have Charles with what I call a “big” age gap. He and his fiance are virtually a generation apart with 27 years between them. He is easily her parents age.
Charlie feared the age gap even before courting his fiance. He imagined how the officers would grill his case. But he took the risk anyway because they wanted to be together. Now, with his K-1 visa interview approaching, it’s going to be all the more important.
To me, Charlie and his fiance have some major red flags to deal with.
That’s still not the biggest age difference I’ve seen so far. There are others I call “enormous” age gaps. Take a look at James’ case.
James has got some major convincing to do. It’s not just a number at this point, it’s a big question on the integrity of his case. Looking at his case, officers will assume fraud as he’s almost 2 generations older than his fiance. We’ll touch on his case in a moment.
But with Rose, Charlie, and James, what you’ve seen so far is just the tip of the iceberg. The “age gap” issue in the K-1 visa process is more complex — it’s not just a number. A range of factors influence the officers perception of your age difference.
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They look at more than just the number
Officers weigh in a lot of different factors to render a decision. To tell you the truth, even with a large age difference, it may not turn out to be a problem. In fact, it may be “normal” to have age gaps, as we’ll see in the first factor:
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❒ Depends on culture
Some societies really do consider age just a number and to them it’s not a make-or-break deal. Instead, they’ll first look at your health, education, family connections, maturity, and general appearance before asking about age. To them age is comparative.
And that helps our point. You see Consular Officers are aware of the traditions, customs, and patterns of marriage. So, they’ll understand if your age gap is “normal” or “odd” according to these customs. They weigh that heavily into consideration.
This works for some cultures but not for all.
In the western world (Europe, Canada, Australia, etc.) for example, we’re more “age-critical” and usually marry someone in own peer group. We typically don’t cross generations.
Following suit, Officers are aware of our preferences and expect it from our fiance visa cases. So, for western countries, it’s odd (and a red flag) to have a major age difference.
The second factor we’ll talk about is unfair but it’s the way things are right now.
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❒ Depends on who’s older
Depending on which one of you is older, it affects your case differently. Generally, it’s more acceptable for older men to petition younger females rather than the other way around. It goes back to the “depends-on-the-culture” idea.
So for example, if James (from our example above) was a woman, instead, who was 40-years older than her fiance, then their case would be scrutinized heavily.
The Officers will suspect the young male is taking advantage of the woman’s loneliness. Is this a way for him to get into the US? Is there some kind of monetary deal?
In addition, many traditional cultures frown upon the woman being older (or past child-bearing age). Going back to the “depends-on-the-culture” idea — the officers will bring this question up by asking “How do you plan to have kids?”
The third factor is the general “mood” of the Embassy there.
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❒ Depends if it’s a “High fraud risk” country
Although the country you’re from won’t be a factor, I still admit that for certain countries, an age difference problem can be blown out of proportion.
That’s because visa fraud is so prevalent that officers cautiously assume applicants who walk through the doors may have false documents, phony relationships, or more.
If you combine a “high fraud risk country” with an age difference red flag, then you’ve got the recipe for denial. In fact, combining red flags with age difference (period) is a sure way to see trouble at the interview as we’ll see in the following part.
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❒ Depends if other red flags are present
Let’s use the last example a bit more. Let’s say the woman’s 40 years older than her fiance in a high fraud risk country. In addition, this young man also has previous unsuccessful visa attempts; You name it — he’s tried it.
So – how would all of these factors fare at the K-1 visa interview?
As you can imagine, it won’t fare well. It’s got all the markings of a relationship for immigration benefits. Their case may be genuine, but to the Embassy, it smells fishy. Don’t be surprised if this one is denied without asking a single question.
Besides this scenario, there are several other red flags that can wreck your case if combined with the age difference.
For example — No common language, no photographs of you two together, no cultural ceremonies, no family / friends involvement, etc. are just a few red flags that’ll inflate your problems at the K-1 visa interview. These additional red flags turn suspicion into conviction.
One last thing I want to mention is regarding gay couples in the fiance visa process. I’ve noticed that an age difference (or red flags in general) don’t seem to be a big deal for gay couples. Officers don’t scrutinize same-sex couples nearly as much as others. We’ll talk about this interesting topic at a later time.
But for now, let’s get back to this age difference red flag and figure out what if there’s a solution to our problems.
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How to get approved even with an age difference red flag
Let’s think logically about the problem: officers think that couples with huge age differences don’t have a bona fide relationship; that there’s fraud involved.
So, the only way to convince them otherwise is to show documented evidence of your bona fide relationship, right?
Remember, age difference is subjective. There’s no law against marrying someone younger. It’s all about how your showcase yourself to the interviewing officer. So, we have to figure out ways that an officer can be persuaded.
To me, there are three ways you can show this kind of persuasive evidence:
❒ Front load your I-129F
With impactful evidence. Front loading your I-129F means you do the hard work upfront. You send in your best evidence of relationship so the officers can see ahead of time. With that kind of reassurance, you won’t fear during the months before the K-1 visa interview. You’d be as carefree as if your case was “normal”.
I’ve worked with several couples who were worried sick about their big age gap right up until the day of the K-1 visa interview. To their pleasant surprise, the officers approved their case without even mentioning this red flag. All because they fortified their case with proof: multiple visits, meeting family, having an engagement, etc.
I won’t go into detail on how to properly front load your case. For that, you can take my online I-129F course for approval. But realize that having good proof makes the difference between approval and denial. And please don’t fall into the trap of thinking that 500 whatsapp messages count as good, solid proof. Because they don’t. Primary proof requires more “skin in the game” than simply chatting online.
❒ Acknowledge the red flag
What’s better: to hide the red flag and hope the officer doesn’t see them? OR to acknowledge it and show the officer that you’ve done something about it?
Hint: officers see it all.
So, to me, you should acknowledge the red flag and show that you actively took steps to “fix” them. How? Well, one example is that you can have Statement of witness from a family member supporting your relationship despite the big age gap. It’s a way to use the “depends-on-the-culture” idea.
❒ Present solid Proof of relationship at the interview
Your final opportunity to show a bona fide relationship is at the K-1 visa interview. While standing in front of the officer, you’ve only got a couple of moments to make your case. So, show your best evidence upfront. And if you’ve combined this with front loading your I-129F, then you’ve got the best shot at approval.
The best proof include primary evidence such as meeting, photographs, witness statements, etc. that convinces any stranger that you two are the real deal.
My favorite is Mark’s example. Mark had 25+ years age difference with his fiance overseas. They had all the signs pointing to trouble. But he was proactive and got a ton of primary evidence front loaded and presented them well at the interview. He met her family/friends, children, and had a number of visitations. That saved him. In fact, it worked so brilliantly that they hardly asked any questions before approving.
To me, the best part about Mark’s story was that he was confident months leading up to the interview. That’s priceless.
Think about it. How anxious would you feel if you had to wait 6-8 months wondering if this red flag would harm you? Mark had none of that. He was calm throughout.
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Make an impact with your Proof of Relationship
I want to leave you with a memorable story.
I interviewed a woman who was approved a K-1 visa with a petitioner almost her father’s age. I asked her how she succeeded easily while others would’ve been ridiculed.
She summarized it along these lines:
“We talked daily. He came to meet me several times, often spending weeks with me and my 8-year-old daughter. He showed her the love that her drunken [biological] father wouldn’t give. He [petitioner] treated us like royalty. I mentioned all of this in our statements and I repeated the same to the Embassy.”
She found a good, reliable husband for herself and a caring father for her daughter. She emailed me a sample of the photo she showed at the interview. It was the petitioner holding her daughter on his shoulders, both smiling with ice cream in their hands. I remember thinking to myself “that’s exactly why they were approved”.
It’s clear, age had nothing to do with it. He treated them like “royalty” and their genuine relationship showed. It’s no wonder the Consular officer easily believed her story and her evidence.
That’s an inspiring story. YOURS doesn’t have to be that dramatic. As long as you can make an impact with your evidence, then I’m confident you will have a good shot at the K-1 visa interview.
Remember, age difference is not just a number. It’s based on a bunch of things like culture, who’s older, a high fraud risk country, and if other red flags are present.
The best solution is to gather up conclusive proof of relationship and provide a convincing story. But for now, do me a favor, and tell me if you:
Have a big age difference? What evidence are you presenting?
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- November 16, 2019 at 8:17 pm on Steps after I-129F Fiance Visa petition approvalHello Jamal, Thanks for writing us. The average time for...
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I am 37 year old woman from Nigeria. I met my 61 year old white American fiance through an online dating in 2013. We have met four times when I visited the US. We plan to wed in the US when next I visit but no family will be attending. Is that going to be a problem when he files spouse visa for me?
Hi Blessing,
Thanks for reaching out. Age difference red flags depend on individual circumstances. You say you’re getting married and filing a spousal visa? well, that’s different than the discussion we’re having on this page for the fiance visa. However, some things are still similar. Proof of relationship is important to demonstrate that you’ve got a legitimate relationship. Please try to follow our suggestions here and let us know if you still have further questions or doubts.
-Prem
I filed a fiancé visa in June 2019 for same sex couple .We are 30 years age difference. he is In Philippines I am in US, I have visited him and proposed have several pictures with his family and Dates we went on and Air BNB receipts in Both our names, A video of the proposal with his Family member’s.. we filed 2 Tourist visas for him to come to Visit and meet My family. Both were denied in manila because of his low income ? We had all the support documents from me I am very able to support Him, and paid for his Plane tickets ? Why would officers not even look at his Document’s. Is this going to be a problem with the K-1 Visa ?
Thank you.
Just feeling frustrated.
Chad
Hello Chad,
Thanks for getting in touch with us. I see your fiance was denied previous tourist visas. Well, that’s a common outcome for many applicants from the Philippines. It probably has less to do with tax returns/income than the “strong ties” 214(b) denial. In general, it won’t affect your K visa negatively unless there’s some inadmissibility. For more information, it’s best if you read the details here:
https://www.visatutor.com/do-tourist-visa-denials-affect-my-k-1-visa/
-Cris (Visa Tutor Team)
Hello
Im from Tunisia , ,my fiance is more older than i’m about 12 years ( her 45 years and me 33 years ) we met each others through the biggest and largest Heavy Metal club Georgia Metal alliance we are members with many others , i have a letters of witnesses a from the members that they knows about us and our relationship since 4 years ago and we met only one time in Tunisia for a whole month ( some pples in Visajouney website said that we have no change to get approved and we need to met again) we have a lot of pics together with my friends and my family , we have a engagement party with a US family came to celebrate it we have a lot of receipts ( hotel voucher , train , restaurant invoices , emails , Facebook chat since 2015 etc . CAN WE ADD SOMETHING TO GET APPROVED .THANKS MY FRIEND
Hello, Manef
The instructions say you must have met at least once two years prior to filling the petition.
From what I understand, last time you two saw each other was 4 years ago, right?
If so, it would be safer to arrange a new visit before filling your petition.
The letters of witnesses do help, however, USCIS does want to see more commitment coming from the couples like making time and effort to be able to spend time together.
So, a new visit would be advisable.
-Cris (Visa Tutor Team)
Hello Prem, I am so glad that you are airing such discussions since am sailing in the same boat. My fiancée is older than me by 10 year gap. We have a bonafide relationship and have met twice with my family pictures included and her son with me participating in different activities and happy together.
Hello Ken,
A bona fide relationship is the key for a smooth journey in the K1 Visa process.
Prem and I wish you all the best in your case and keep us posted about it, ok?
-Cris (Visa Tutor Team)
I’m getting married in 1 week to my fiance, nearly a year since I filed the I-129F. I followed the advice from Prem’s VisaTutor program and created a great package. We are a same-sex couple with a 35 year age difference. The age difference wasn’t even brought up in the visa interview which lasted about 5 minutes (in London). My advice is to put in the preparation time, follow Prem’s recommendations and try to visit each other as much as possible! Good luck to you all!
Hey Chuck,
Great news. Congratulations on the upcoming marriage. Thanks for sharing this incredible part of your journey. I remember how we worked together on the details of your case when you signed up for my program. You worked hard to follow the guidelines in the course and you created a great case. So, your hard work paid off! I enjoyed helping you. Good luck, and please keep in touch in the future!
-Prem
Hey there, I am 21 and my partner is 52.. We are just about to start the K1 process and the age gap situation is a bit discouraging. we have TONS of photos, letter, emails, chats, screenshots, airline tickets, hotel reservations, letters from close friends/families. is there anything I can do to prove more? I’m worried
Hello Judz,
As you may have read in this article, having an age difference is a red flag but it can be overcome with great proof of relationship. If you have gathered enough and feel you’re adequately represented, then in reality, there’s not much more left to do.
-Prem
Hey,
Me and my fiance have 27 years of age gap and we are same-sex couple. What do you recommend? Also i happen to be in a Anti-Gay country
Hello Phew,
Same-sex couples follow the same procedure for a fiance visa. If you have an age gap, you will have to provide some good proof of relationship during the interview. I think you should take a look here at “How the fiance visa experience for LGBT“. In that article, I also discuss the red flag issues and related topics for couples in countries where same-sex marriage is illegal or criminalized.
-Prem
Hi Prem,
I am a female petitioner, 13 years older than my fiance who resides in middle east. I seen him once because we thought our approval is near so let me fly once approved but it was so late. Anyhow finally approved and so far we video chat, chat logs, photos of me and his uncles and cousins who live near me (in fact his uncle is a co-sponsor for him for interview), video chat with me and his parents, we are deeply in love and he wishes to set an example for many couples in middle east who find this taboo. We are however same religion and culture even though I am a USC. Is front loading also recommended for my situation?
Hey Maryam,
Thanks for writing. I understand your situation, and yes, the solution is to have the right evidence cross the USCIS eyes and Consular’s eyes so they’re convinced of your genuine relationship. Besides the two meetings, you can also show plenty of other evidence to help build your case. What else do you feel you have to offer to in your case as evidence of relationship?
-Prem
If my lady and have a huge age difference I understand that proof of relationship is our burden to prove . Would it be better to be married in her country first rather than try to get fiancée visa ? I realize it may take longer to get but is this a better way to go ?
Hey Lenny,
That’s a good observation. Many people who feel that they have no shot at the K visa interview because of their red flags sometimes feel they may have a shot with the marriage. Many times that’s true as the spousal visa category sees less denial rates. However, many people are still not approved. You see, the red flag issue applies to any visa category (although I admit, it’s less tolerated in fiance visa situations). Therefore, the problem of a red flag is still present in any category you want to try. My best advice is to make sure that you address and fix red flags whether you choose the K visa or CR/IR1 visa. Hope this helps.
-Prem
Hi Prem,
My fiancé is from Jakarta, Indonesia. We met on line in January 2018. I have made two tips to Indonesia. I’ve met her 26 family members and they all support this relationship.
The possible problem as I see it is there is a huge age difference. I am 73 and she is 34. The other possible problem I think is when I met her she was driving for Uber. I convinced her to leave her job as I would support her knowing that I would be traveling back and forth for visits and so forth. I have submitted tons of pictures of us together and pictures with me and her family members. We are both now living in fear that these might be red flags and we may be denied. What do you think and suggest. We were approved and waiting to hear from NVC. We are taking your course.
Thank you so much!
Steve
Hello Steve,
Thanks for reaching out. Hmm, yes indeed an age difference is one of those things that’s difficult to predict how it’ll affect your case. If you have lots of evidence of a bona fide relationship and you front loaded your I-129F, then you have a decent shot at the interview. If you feel you don’t have evidence, then it may be a rough ride.
I don’t see anything wrong with you asking her to stop working for Uber and if you were supporting her. That doesn’t sound like “buying love”.
I see you’re taking my K-1 visa interview course. In this course I talk in-depth about red flags. You will see the 3 things that, in my experience, are the most influential in getting your case approved. Be sure to heed that advice and let me know what you think.
if you have any more questions, feel free to reach out by email.
-Prem
Thank you for responding to my question, concerning the age gap. I am still wondering if it’s okay to offer information about financial assistance from me or is that a bad idea? You are my only hope in getting this right, especially when my fiancé goes for his interview in the future. You are appreciated. Thank you.
Tonie
Hi Tonie,
I understand your concern about the age gap red flag and wondering if it’s wise to offer information about helping your fiance financially. It’s your decision but in general it may be unwise to do so. Lest it be mistaken for “buying” affection.
-Prem
Hi Prem, I am 12 years older than my fiance, I am the male petitioner, Is that a red flag? I have traveled to Brasil to meet her twice I am planning for a third trip on January 2019. I have already met all her close family, We are in love and we are planning to start a family, everything is real.
Hey Eliot,
Thanks for sharing and good luck with everything. As you know, it all depends on what kind of evidence you present. Age difference is one thing, proof of relationship covers all. What’s the status on your packet?
-Prem
Hi Prem. There are many of us on this journey who have a big age gap. I, the female petitioner, is one of those people with a big age gap red flag. When I submitted my fiancé packet, I included pictures from my visit with him, such as: our first face to face meeting at the airport, when we visited the zoo together, when we attended his home church together, our planned engagement party showing us around friends, & etc. I also submitted approximately 7 chat conversations between the two of us, and a letter from a friend who was at the engagement party. We are at the 4th month and waiting/hoping for that NOA2. Our tentative dates to hear something from USCIS, California Center, is between 2/8/2019 – 2/14/2019. In case there are no RFE’s, please tell me what kind of documents will help with the age gap difference during the interview for my beneficiary? Should I start gathering more online chats, friends/family statements for him to take to the interview? Also, he is in a poor country & their salary isn’t very much. I periodically help him financially because I have the means to do so. Is this a negative thing to do or is it okay to include the proof? Thank you for your help. We all appreciate your valuable information.
Hey Tonie,
Thanks for writing and I can understand your situation. Many readers face the exact same dilemma. The truth of the matter is that there’s no secret to the “solution” or “fix”. And it’s little use speaking to a lawyer or agonizing over your red flags. I really mean it when I say this in my article that your proof of relationship is the # 1 way to address this issue. You have a bit of time to go before the interview. I suggest you find more ways to strengthen your case to show the interviewing officer about your relationship. Can you manage more meetings? or perhaps some other evidence of a bona fide relationship in light of the age difference red flags?
-Prem
My boyfriend is 18 years older than me. We saw each other 3 times and we honestly love each other… I m from Russia. I don’t know if they see this country as high fraud area… Until reading the article I didn’t not think our age difference could be a red flag… Should we worry?
Hello Maria,
Thanks for sharing your concern. Most of us have the same reaction. Age difference isn’t a big deal for us, but to a “complete stranger” like the reviewing officer, it may be a trigger. To me, it’s most important to be aware of this possible red flag and try your best to overcome it with great proof of relationship. We have to take an outside perspective here and put ourselves in the officer’s shoes. 18 years may or may not be an issue depending on the various factors that I’m sure you’ve read above. I don’t know if you should be worried, but I certainly think you should be cognizant of the possible red flag. How do you think you’re going to prepare differently for your interview?
-Prem