Evidence of a bona fide Relationship is important at the fiance visa interview

I’m not going to run off a list of 100 different proofs you can use for your interview. Stuff like photos, text messages, phone logs, etc… (you can get that anywhere).

Instead, I want to show you why it’s important to have solid evidence. And it’s not enough just to be over-confident and declare “we’ve known each other for 15 years… isn’t that proof enough?”

Regardless of how confident you think you are going in, there’s reason to be extra cautious.

Let’s step back. Let me show you the numbers so you actually believe me.

Statistically speaking, lack proof of good bona fide evidence is the # 1 reason for fiance visa denial. Yes, the number ONE reason for denial (read how to prevent the # 1 reason for fiance visa denial).

So obviously, MOST people are doing something very wrong with their proof.

But WHY is that?

These are the four big reasons behind it:

● Officers are complete strangers
● Numbers don’t lie – statistics
● No guidance anywhere
● The officer gets what the officer wants

Overall notice–these problems have a central theme: they don’t tell us what they want. And they don’t how they want it. 

Let’s go through these one by one.

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Problem # 1 – They’re complete strangers

Every night after dinner, I sit down with my daughter to go over her homework. I have her to read extracurricular books (things above and beyond what her teacher assigns). 

Now… here I am as someone who has no clue what she’s read, what the book’s about, or the characters in it. I’m totally unfamiliar with it.

When I ask her to summarize the book, it’s gets very confusing. She’s not thinking about my perspective —  she jumps into random topics and whatever interests her most. She assumes that I know the story as well as she does. Children do that.

I’ve gotten so confused, that I told her that the next she reads a book, remember to start from the beginning and explain things that would make sense to me (step by step).

Consider your fiance visa case the “book” the interviewing officer has glimpsed but not read in full. By looking at your I-129F petition, a few sheets of paper, he/she is supposed to make a decision (approval or denial).

And therein lies the root of the problem. We (applicants) naturally assume that the officer knows as much about our case as WE do. Just like how my daughter imagines I know her book as well as she does.

So, K visa applicants get complacent and walk in with weak (too little or too much) proof without really considering the perspective of the officer (Notice: “weak” evidence is about quality not quantity).

The interviewing officer is a complete stranger to you and your case. The K-1 visa interview is an opportunity to present your case. Yes, they’ve reviewed your forms, your I-129F proof, your statements, etc. But they’re not “all knowing”.

They may have holes or misunderstandings especially if you didn’t do a good, clear job with your packet. It’s a failure to communicate clearly. That’s the root of the problem.

It all makes a lot more sense now, doesn’t it? Ever read stories of fiance visa couples and how they swear they’re a real couple, yet the officer didn’t believe them? Why is that?

I think a big part of it is because most of us don’t understand the perspective of the officer. On top of that, we don’t know how to present the case that would be clear, crisp and understandable to him/her — who is a complete stranger.

Think back to how my daughter explains her book to me. How clear was I about the story she read? Not so much.

And if we throw red flags into the mix of your k-1 visa case, it’s even more complicated.

Now, let’s be clear with one thing. Just because they’re complete strangers doesn’t mean they’re inexperienced. Officers have been doing this for years and years so they know most cases by taking a glimpse. However, for us, it’s important that nothing gets misrepresented.

The point is: make sure you don’t bring weak or irrelevant evidence assuming this “complete stranger” knows as much about your case as you do. And when you do present, make sure you have different mentality.

Because if the officer is even a little bit confused, they’re not afraid to stamp a denial across your application.

I hope you really understand this point as it’s the most important for you to prepare your proof of relationship. It dictates how you assemble your packet, which proof you hand select, and how you present them.

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Problem # 2 – Statistics don’t lie

The second problem regarding proof of relationship is the manifestation of its importance — and also vagueness.

Like I’ve mentioned earlier, statistics prove that the # 1 reason for fiance visa denial is lack of convincing bona fide relationship evidence. It’s when you don’t clearly demonstrate that you’re serious. (Read fiance visa statistics).

One reason for it is that we mistake quantity over quality. Meaning we often think it’s better to show more evidence rather than convincing ones.

A common example is how we proudly stuff our paperwork with tons and tons of text message screenshots or video call screenshots and so on. Or we think “I’ll show them that we’re really serious by printing a 1,000-page phone record log”.

Don’t do that. Those are low-stake and low-impact proof you should avoid overdoing.

Imagine: instead of telling me a coherent step by step version of the story, my daughter instead adds more words, however it doesn’t add more to my understanding. Rather than clear up confusion, it leaves me even further confused. Ironic, isn’t it?

Well, it’s sort of how your proof of relationship is like. The more low-value quantity evidence (the more “words”) you include, the more confusing it’ll become. In fact, it may even become suspicious where they think you’re compensating for something (red flag).

So, let’s not get trapped here. You must be conscious of what proof makes up your case. Quality is better than quantity.

Next point: the 221(g) is sort of a “catch-all” denial. It’s when officers give a denial for a variety of problems but they group it into this one item. So, it’s unfair to say that all 221(g) denials are due to lack of good POR. But it is fair to say that most of them are. But, stats aren’t available so this is an educated guess.

So take it for what it’s worth: proof of relationship is statistically the # 1 reason for fiance visa denial. It’s important.

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Problem # 3 – They don’t tell us what they want

Sorry to keep going back to the example with my daughter’s story.

I realize the problem was that I didn’t tell her exactly how to explain the story. I mean if I had said “tell me from beginning to end how the story goes”, then it’d be a lot clearer.

It’s almost like what the US Embassy should do. They should tell us: “here’s what you must do and here’s how to do it”. That’d make things simpler for us, wouldn’t it?

I mean imagine that rather than having a generic instruction saying “present proof of relationship which demonstrates your bona fide relationship”, we get something concrete. Like for instance, bring primary evidence such as “a,b,c” and avoid showing us “e, f, g”.

Better yet, it’d be a dream come true if they gave precise instructions like “bring 3 pages of your Whatsapp… or bring 2 pages of this month’s phone record…” and so on.

But, of course they give no such instructions. So, on top of them being total strangers, we also don’t have any guidance on what they want.

And this is a huge problem. We have no clue what this particular Embassy considers “good” evidence. What they consider “useless”. We don’t even know what’s “enough” or “too much” for them.

We’re left to figure it out by ourselves.

● Should I have 2 pages, 20 pages, or 100 pages?
● Should I include this photo or not?
● Should I put this in front or keep it in the back of my packet?

It’s truly emotionally difficult. We’re anxious and stressed over our uncertainty.

In addition, there’s way too much opinions offered by other people. Everyone tries to help by offering their advice but it leaves us even more confused than before.

Ultimately, we run the risk of walking in to the K-1 visa interview with either too much, too little, or “not convincing enough” (which goes back to point # 2, statistics). You can read “how much proof of relationship is enough for my K-1 visa interview?”

Remember the problem is — they don’t tell us what to bring. In addition, there’s no guidance on how much or what exactly to bring.

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Problem # 4 – the Officer gets what he/she wants

Imagine if I had scanned through my daughter’s book and instead of letting her talk randomly, I specifically asked her to summarize a particular chapter. Or tell me why character ‘X’ in her book did something.

Suppose I know the basics of the book and only want to know things that are holes in my understanding. Or things I’m interested in knowing more about. I may even ask her to forget everything else she was planning on telling me and just concentrate on one plot twist.

How could she possibly prepare for something like that?

Many fiance visa couples tell me their experience was just like that. The officer specifically asked for this proof, or that, or he/she ignored something and just wanted to know about something else.

That’s just how officers ask you to present your evidence.

In general, consular officers almost always dictate WHICH evidence and HOW MUCH evidence they want to see from you.

So on top of ALL the other uncertainty, every officer has a preference on what they consider “good” evidence, what’s “bad”, and what’s “enough” or “not enough”.

Some officers may see ONE single photo you bring in and be convinced. Others may see dozens but still scoff at what you’ve handed in. It’s different for everyone.

It’s hard to predict what your interviewer considers “good”, “bad” or “not enough”. It’s hard to predict “how much” you should bring in. It’s almost impossible to predict which evidence the officer asks to see first (and ignores everything else).

Starting to get the picture on why proof of relationship is such a tough task for the fiance K-1 visa?

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The four obstacles have a solution: present “every angle”

Remember the four obstacles:

● They’re a complete stranger – meaning they don’t know your case as well as you do

●Numbers don’t lie – statistics show this is the top reason for denial and we don’t appreciate the importance

● They don’t tell us what they want – it’s up to us to figure out WHAT to bring and HOW MUCH.

● The officer gets what the officer wants – every officer has a preference on different types of proof (or lack of).

The combination of these four factors mean we have to prepare in such a way that we have powerful proof of bona fide relationship at our fingertips in case we’re asked to present anything. That’s why it’s important to (1) prepare well and (2) present well.

More so, it can’t just be ANY evidence. No. It has to be strong. Things that can even crush red flags. Remember, 500 pages of text messages is weak evidence and will likely be ignored by the Consulate.

You can use my Fiance K-1 visa interview course to put together a proof of relationship packet that prevents the 4 problems we just discussed.

The solution is what I call “every angle”. It’s when you present every angle of your relationship with a good combination of primary and secondary evidence to convince them of your real relationship.

If the officer asks for photos: we have the best hand picked photos. If the officer asks for text messages: we have the best selection showing our seriousness to marry.

And while your standing at the interview booth presenting your case, you must be confident. The process of selecting proof, putting it together in a neat little package, and the skills to present it clearly at the interview is what I teach in my K-1 visa interview course.